What are you addicted to?

I have to admit I have a soft spot for the American actress Jamie Lee Curtis, who has appeared in films like a Fish Called Wanda and True Lies. Despite her stellar film career I recently heard Jamie Lee Curtis say that her greatest life achievement has been overcoming an addiction to alcohol and opiates. The actress spoke openly about how difficult it is to overcome addiction.

What are you addicted to? Comfort eating? Alcohol? Smoking? Drugs? Shopping? Sugar? Gambling? Gossip? An unhealthy romantic relationship? In life it is too easy to end up relying on a crutch … to be reliant on some sort of diversion so you don’t have to face up to the challenges of your life.

I want to focus on overcoming addictions today, but first what exactly is an addiction? Basically an addiction is not being able to stop doing something even when you really, really want to. It is when you compulsively engage in a behaviour that is bad for you like drug talking, drinking or compulsive eating. Addiction makes you feel like you’ve lost control.

How do you overcome addictions?

The first step to overcoming an addiction is to assess your life values and ask if your addiction is compatible with those values. What do you want to do with your life? Do you want to achieve, serve your family, be healthy, contribute to the community and live fully – feeling, sensing and enjoying every moment on this planet? Write down your seven values then ask yourself how your addiction is impacting on those values. For example you might list serving your family as a key aspiration. If you are a smoker and you have young children, are you truly serving them well? You might only smoke outdoors, but I’m afraid the cancer-causing toxins in the smoke gets on your clothes and then on your children when they touch you. An addiction to cigarettes is not compatible with a desire to serve your family. Similarly if you want to live fully then an addiction to alcohol is contrary to this aspiration, while an addiction to sugar is at odds with a desire to live a healthy life.

Next I’d make a couple of posters to remind yourself that your values and addictions are at odds. Put these up all around your house, even put up a small note at your desk.

Plan ahead to beat addictions

Beating an addiction is anything but easy. It takes a lot of hard work, commitment and planning. When are you planning to quit? Do not try to give up an addiction if you are going through a tough time. You are going to need energy to fight your addiction and if you are low on energy then your addiction will win. You need to choose a time when everything is going well.

Next I would recruit some support. You need to ask friends to support you as you give up shopping, alcohol, binge eating, gambling or any other addiction. Could you ask a close friend to sit down and talk to you once a week about your progress? Could another friend phone you twice a week and offer words of encouragement? Set up that support team – you need all the help you can get when battling an addiction.

Find a counsellor or support group

Sometimes it’s not enough to have ‘support’ friends, you need to find professional support. There are support groups to help gamblers and alcoholics. Professional psychologists are also trained to help people with addictions. You might think your addiction is silly – for example you spend too much on clothes, but if it is troubling you, take it seriously. See your doctor and ask for a referral to a psychologist. Explain that you are grappling with an addiction that is impacting on your life.

Be ready for temptation

When are you most likely to indulge in your addiction? My friend knows that she comfort eats and her weight is totally out of control. She eats when she is distressed, when overtaxed or over imposed on by her family. You need to be ready for these situations. My friend tends to over-eat after she puts her young children to bed. She needs to have a big bowl of chopped carrots ready when the kids go to bed so she can munch non-stop. Chomping on carrots is much better than gobbling chocolates. Eventually she can cut down the amount of carrot she eats, but she will at least be taking steps to overcome her addiction if she has some chopped carrots ready at times of weakness.

Find a distraction

Whether you are addicted to drugs, alcohol or even an unhealthy relationship, find some activities that will take your mind off your addiction. Go to the gym, go the movies, play a computer game, read a mental health book, clean out your wardrobe. You have to be tough on yourself when fighting an addiction. Do not even think about the offending activity – don’t dream about lighting up a cigarette, pouring a drink or seeing that guy who mistreats you!

I particularly recommend exercising. Exercising releases happy chemicals in your brain, and when you are feeling happy you will be better equipped to fight against your addiction.

Take up a new hobby

Okay, what have you always wanted to learn – ballroom dancing, a foreign language, ice skating? Now is the time to throw yourself into that new hobby without reservations! Sign up for tennis or join a touch-football team. Basically go hard or go home. This will help you get fit and act as a diversion and you will learn a new skill.

Keep a diary

Look, Rome was not built in a day. It is going to take time to beat your addiction. You are going to lapse and indulge. Whenever you fail, just start again. Do not be beaten. Document all your ups and downs in a diary but please persevere. You will beat this addiction if you keep fighting it. If you throw in the towel, you have no hope.

Pray or meditate

If you are fortunate enough to have faith in a higher power, then ask for help!!! If not, meditate and recharge your mind. Quiet time with strengthen you for the fight against your addiction.

Good luck.