Tips for Getting Work Colleagues to Listen to You

In the last blog I looked at ways to get family members and friends to listen to you, especially when you have an important message to deliver. In this blog I want to explore how to get the attention of work colleagues and get them to listen to your input. Here are some tips.

Less is more

I started my blog on getting family members to listen with that same advice. Get to the point you want to make fast. Do not beat around the bush. If you are someone who chatters constantly in meetings about a wide and diverse range of subjects, you will (I’m afraid) have become background noise to your colleagues. Professional communicator Marty Demnko has developed what he calls the ‘traffic light’ strategy for communicating. He says the first 20 seconds when you start talking the light is green, and your colleagues are listening – provided your comments are relevant and helpful. Then over the next 20 seconds the light turns amber and your colleagues are beginning to disengage and are hoping you’ll soon wrap it up. However, after 40 seconds of talking you are in the red light zone and in danger. People want you to stop talking and go away.

Listen to others and they will listen to you

It sounds silly to say that if you want to be heard, be silent and first learn to listen but that is true. When you pay someone the compliment of listening deeply to what they have to say, they often reciprocate by listening to you. By listening deeply, I mean that you give them your undivided attention. You acknowledge you’ve heard them by summarising their main points. You nod and smile and show your openness. The next time someone isn’t listening to you, try listening to them first and see what happens. Hopefully they will allocate you some time to talk. This strategy doesn’t always work as some people are truly self-obsessed but it does frequently work.

Establish respectful relationships

Basically people will listen to you if they like you. The best CEOs in the world build relationships with their teams and take the time to learn people’s names. They also learn about their employees’ strengths and weaknesses. They create a workplace culture and earn the respect of the workers. They are often seen in the building and are happy to chat to staff. They build up real personal relationships. People are much more likely to listen to you if they respect and like you.

Read the room

Stand-up comedians will tell you that their success is totally dependent on reading the room. Are they a happy, receptive audience or a hostile crowd? Before you even open your mouth assess the mood of the crowd and the level of engagement. You must read the room. Are people playing with their phones and looking out the window? If they appear to be keen to listen, go for it. If they are clearly disengaged and hostile, try asking them some questions first and listen to their responses before delivering your message. What are they hoping to get out of the meeting? What would they like to focus on?

Be an appealing speaker

To become a more appealing speaker, first relax and feel loose. You can sense tension in a speaker. They appear still and guarded. Speak slowly and clearly, don’t rush. Take a look at the evening news and the delivery pace of the news readers. Use your hands to emphasise words. Speak loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the room, but don’t shout! Use upward and downward intonation, meaning sometimes you end a sentence on a high note, sometimes on a low note. Also emphasise key words in your message. Again listen to news readers, they carefully emphasise key words. Think about using long and short sentences. Vary the speed of your delivery. People tune out when a voice drones on and on without variation of tone or speed. Don’t be afraid to pause ahead of important themes. The silence works as a pointer, emphasising the importance of key sentences. Try to enjoy your time speaking in meetings or conferences. Forget about your nerves and focus on your message and the audience.

Use humour as a tool to engage

Humour is a great way to get people to pay attention, however you need people to be laughing with you not at you. Also you need to proceed with care when using humour in the workplace. You cannot use jokes that are politically incorrect. You can tell a funny story that happened to you but the story needs to be sharp and to the point. A little bit of self-depreciating humour goes a long way. It also demonstrates that you are modest. Ideally test jokes out on friends and family before airing them at an office meeting or conference.

Put it in writing

Most people only remember a quarter of what they hear. The best way to ensure your message has been understood is to follow it up with a written statement. Does your company keep minutes at meetings? Regardless, document what you have said and put it in a document. You may want to provide your colleagues with a hand-out summarising your presentation just before you start speaking, or send out an email summary afterwards. You could begin the email by writing, “to summarise we have agreed XYZ. I will be doing A, while Sarah will be doing B and Mike will take care of C”. If there is any disagreement or misunderstanding they will be clarified at this stage, rather than later.

Dress well and behave respectfully

If you want people to listen to you, dress well. By dressing well you are telling your colleagues that you respect them, and you take the job seriously. If someone looks unkempt at work, you assume they are undisciplined and don’t really care about work. Arrive on time, do not leave people waiting. Be organised, attend meetings well prepared. Do your homework, be across main issues.

In many ways being heard to equates to being respected. Yes, it helps if you are an engaging and eloquent speaker, but most importantly, you need to be the kind of colleague people value and respect. If that is the case, your voice will always be listened to.