The Best Way to Respond to an Ethical Dilemma

How do you cope with ethical dilemmas? Do you run and hide or just blunder in hoping to do the right thing? And what do I mean by ethical dilemma? Well, how would you respond if you suspected someone was stealing at work? Or you knew a friend’s spouse was having an affair? Do you tell and break your friend’s heart or hope they find out another way? We have all been in uncomfortable situations and unsure of the way forward. Are there any hard and fast rules when it comes to dealing with an ethical dilemma? I don’t think there are always right or wrong choices however I do have suggestions about how to approach an ethical dilemma.

Take some time to think

Ethical dilemmas upset people. We often feel resentful that we have to witness someone doing the wrong thing and then to make matters worse we are placed in a position of emotional conflict because we have to face unsavoury choices. When upset, people act without thinking. We may become angry or speak without thinking. If you are faced with a moral problem, take some time out to think about it. I strongly suggest stewing it over for a few days, a week if possible. Sometimes you get lucky and things work themselves out, but you will have to face it and act if the dilemma persists. And remember NOT doing anything is a chosen course of action, not a default setting. Yes, you can chose to do nothing, but acknowledge it as a CHOICE not a forfeit!

Do not lie

People caught in ethical dilemmas often feel like they would like to run and hide and not take any responsibility, however do not start lying and pretend you knew nothing. Do not tell your friend you were unaware her partner was having an affair. Do not tell your boss you were unaware that your co-worker was stealing. Lying is amoral, but it could also create further problems in the future. What if someone turns up evidence that you were aware of the problem? How will you explain your way out of that? Through lies?

Reassess the facts

Are you 100 per cent sure of what is going on or have you misinterpreted something? The man with his arm around your friend’s wife may have been her brother. Your colleague wasn’t stealing that money but taking it to the bank. Ask yourself if you are rock-solid sure of the facts.

Aim to react logically not emotionally

This is easier said than done. It helps to take some time out and then return with a cool head. Rather than responding with emotion you need to respond with logic. You need to approach your ethical dilemma as though you are dealing with any other work task. You need to think hard and proceed cautiously.

Write down the ethical problem

Describe exactly what the problem is, for example my colleague is stealing. That means the company’s profit will be undermined impacting the company’s owners. He is betraying the trust of his co-workers. Stealing is not acceptable professional conduct. What defines an ethical issue, is that the action has adverse impacts on others.

Write down your options

Write down every single way you could respond, for example you could do nothing, you could talk to your manager, you could tell the police, you could tell other co-workers. The problem with dilemmas is that there is not just one way forward. You will feel less overwhelmed if you can see on paper every option. Next write down what the consequences might be for each action. You could write down the possible results from this course of action – the best results and the worse, ie your colleague will return the stolen money. For example, the best result – there was a good reason for the out-of-character behaviour, ie his marriage broke down and this was a cry for help. Your work may decide not to prosecute or dismiss the individual but instead direct them to counselling. The worse result – management knew about the thefts and turned a blind-eye and now you are viewed as a trouble maker. Be prepared for any eventuality. That is why it is a good idea to write down possible outcomes

Ask others for advice

Talk to people you consider wise and ask them for insight and direction. How do they perceive the situation? What factors would they consider? Ultimately, what would they do? Ask more than one person. Do your wise friends or relatives agree on a course of action?

Write down your legal and ethical responsibilities

First write down what the law expects of you, next write down what you expect of yourself. The law may not compel you to tell on a stealing colleague but if you detest dishonesty then you will have to take action, and not just let the thefts continue. Write down what you expect of yourself. This will best determine your course of action.

Prepare a plan of action

Come up with a strategy based on facts, logic and sound advice. Write a detailed plan. What are you going to say and when? Are you prepared for the comeback? Will you be able to act with confidence and certainty? The truth is that there are times in life when there is no one answer or path. You just have to decide on a course of action, document it and then see it through.

You may have to face difficult situations. You may have tough times on the horizon. All I can say is that we are all tested in life, but take comfort knowing you thought long and hard about what to do, considering everyone’s best interest. Tell yourself constantly – I am doing my best!