How to Stop Your Feelings From Over-Riding Logic

The Prefrontal Cortex versus The Limbic System

I learnt something about the human brain recently. From an evolution standpoint, the limbic system, which controls emotion, came first. The prefrontal cortex, which controls reasoning, didn’t develop until later. So it makes sense that people’s first reaction to challenging situations is emotional and the rational response follows. For example, if you’re in your car and someone almost collides with you, your first response will be emotional, “That crazy idiot shouldn’t be on the road.” You might even blow your horn, but your next response will be rational, “I was driving in his blind-spot. No wonder he didn’t see me. Lucky he braked in time!” Unfortunately some people go through life reacting to their emotional response and not waiting for logic to kick in. I guess that’s why we hear about shocking incidences of road rage – people punching strangers.

I believe that it’s a good idea to think with your head not your heart, what that means is that you should use your prefrontal cortex to make decisions, not your limbic system. It doesn’t pay to let feelings govern your life. Often feelings are learnt in childhood. If you had a parent who always played the victim, and blamed others for their misfortunes, you might also develop this mindset and spend a lot of time ‘feeling’ sorry for yourself, or you could make a conscious effort to readjust your thinking! Change your thinking and you will change your feelings.

It is never a good idea to spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. Talking about negative feelings won’t change them into positive actions. I like that line from the ‘Ye Wearie Wayfarer’ poem by Adam Lindsay Gordon – “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, Courage in your own.” Face challenges in life with courage and a positive mindset, don’t succumb to feelings of ‘this is hard’, ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘I want to give up’. Instead engage that prefrontal cortex and tell yourself that you can and will do it! Winston Churchill said, “A pessimist sees difficulties in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”

Controlling Emotions

When emotions operate without rational thought, they take over us and can send us in the wrong direction. It is essential that you learn how to control your emotions and activate the more evolved part of the brain. Do not let emotions over-run you. You will live to regret it! Make sure that when making decisions you assess all the facts and get us much information as possible. Be meticulous and drill down until you find the truth. Politician Daniel Patrick Moynihan said, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”

When it comes to controlling your emotions, you could try taking a deep breath when feeling emotional and waiting five minutes. Wait until your heart rates calms down and your muscles are no longer tense. You will have a better chance of engaging the old prefrontal cortex. You could also try saying a prayer in times of immense emotional stress! If you believe in a higher force, you also believe that God can take the reins for you and you can put your emotions away. What about finding an outlet for your feelings? Keep a journal and write about your emotions for 15 minutes every day, don’t over-indulge these feelings but exorcise them – get them under control. Alternatively something physical, like kick boxing may help you manage your temper or negative thoughts.

Feelings versus Mindset

Too many people mistake certain ‘feelings’ for a positive mindset. For example, enthusiasm is not a feeling, it’s an outlook. It’s a disciplined way of seeing the world. You welcome challenges because they give you a chance to prove your mindset! The car maker Henry Ford said, “Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress. With it there is accomplishment. Without it there are only alibis.” A go-get-it attitude is not a ‘feeling’. A positive attitude is a thinking habit that has gained momentum. As Steve Schulte said, “The day is what you make it, so why not make it a good one.”

Feeling versus Choice

I also believe that happiness is not so much a feeling as a choice. Abraham Lincoln famously said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Have you made up your mind to be happy, or are you a slave to your ‘feelings’? Sometimes we mistake contentment for happiness. I am grateful for all that I have, but I am not always contented. People who embrace prosperity aim to improve in everything they do, hence they are not often contented with who they are or what they have. They are always aspiring to get to the next level.

Separating Feelings from Facts

Feelings are not bad. They are part of being human, but problems arise when we let feelings over-ride the facts and logic, and interfere with our plans. For example, if you have ‘feelings’ of being unworthy, write down everything you have achieved, and your qualifications and experience. Now look at this evidence – logically you can see that there are no rational grounds for doubting yourself. Master those feelings – think positive thoughts and you will soon have positive ‘feelings’. Regulate your feelings so they contribute to your success, not undermine it!