How to Curb Emotional Shopping

It is often fondly referred to as ‘retail therapy’ and for most people it is a harmless activity. You are feeling a little flat so you head out to the shops and buy yourself lots of lovely things, and you return feeling cheered up. Maybe it’s prompted by a tough day in the office, or even relationship problems. If emotional shopping is a one-off, and not your usual mechanism for coping with stress then you have nothing to worry about. In fact, some experts say occasional emotional shopping is even good for you (if you can afford it) and it cuts your level of anxiety, but for some people emotional shopping has become a serious problem.

Constant shopping that is prompted by negative emotions is bad, especially if you are spending more than you can afford and you are buying stuff you don't need. You may have become an emotional shopper. What are the signs that you now have a problem?

1. You are looking for a happiness fix

Do you head to the shops whenever you feel down or suffering from anxiety, restlessness, irritability, sadness even anger? And when you get home you feel guilty? You know you have bought more than you can afford. This indicates that you may have a deep-seated mental health issue. You may be suffering from depression or anxiety and rather than facing up to this you are looking for a short-term happiness fix. People in this position would be well advised to see their GP and get a referral to see a psychologist.

2. When shopping you tell yourself you are worth it

Are you spending big money on luxury purchases while telling yourself that you are worth it or you deserve it? This indicates that you may have a self-esteem problem. Buying yourself nice things is a way of taking care of yourself but if you are constantly doing this, it indicates you have unmet emotional needs in your life. You have strong feelings of lack. It may stem from never feeling loved by your parents or partner. You need to do some serious emotional work, ideally you need to seek professional help, and perhaps spend some time reading self-help books about valuing yourself and growing self-esteem.

3. You have money problems

Believe it or not, many people suffering financial stress often resort to emotional shopping. It is a way of denying the problem. Rather than review your earnings and spending, you just abuse your credit cards. This is another scenario of avoiding your emotions and the real, deep-seated problem. See a financial counsellor today and stop shopping.

4. You are facing a particular stressful time

In life we hit hard times. Loved ones get sick, relationships break down, people even die. Some people turn to food, alcohol, even gambling during difficult times, but other people become emotional shoppers. If you have recently gone through a hard time and you notice your spending habits have changed, then stop and take stock. It’s time to stay away from shopping complexes and find some other coping mechanisms. It is time to reach out to good friends. You need to cope in a healthier way than maxing out your credit cards.

5. You are trying to keep up with the Joneses

If you are overspending because you want to have the same good quality products as your friends, neighbours and colleagues, then you might have to consider what is truly important to you. Are you buying luxury items because you want to outdo other people and appear to have a better lifestyle? Success and happiness is not measured by dollars. Success and happiness is more connected to having real relationships, a sense of purpose in your life and a feeling of peace. I say cut up your credit card and volunteer to spend some time helping out in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

6. You are constantly taking goods back to the shops

Normal people only occasionally return goods because they find the item doesn’t fit properly or doesn’t look as good when you got it home, or you found something far more suitable in another shop. If you are constantly taking items back because you feel guilty about the money, then you are in damage control and now an emotional shopper. It has become a vicious cycle and will again soon be out buying and returning those goods. It is time to consider seeking a counsellor and talking about what is really troubling you.

Practical steps to stopping emotional shopping

Wait before you buy

Wait at least 24 hours before you buy any big purchase. If you forget about it or decide you don’t want it, then you’ll know the wait was worth it! If you are still determined to buy it, at least you know you value the item. Some people suggest putting your credit cards in a bowl of water in the freezer and freezing it that way you have to at least wait until the ice melts before you can buy!

Limit your exposure to advertising

Switch off ads on the TV, avoid reading billboards and never visit shopping websites. As the Lord’s prayer goes, “lead us not into temptation”. Do not lead yourself into temptation and delete all those emails telling you about specials – better still, block them.

Write down your expenditure

Write down every cent you spend, also put up prominently in your house how much you earn and what your financial responsibilities are. You can even put sticky notes on your credit cards reminding yourself that you have bills to pay!

Distract yourself

Find other fun things to do aside from shopping. Go to the gym, catch up with friends, go for a walk, do some cooking, meditate. Essentially do anything but spend money!

Emotional shopping is problematic, and like all problems the level of severity varies from person to person. If you really feel that your shopping is hurting you and your family, then have the courage to see a doctor and ask for some mental-health support. Remember asking for help, is a sign of strength not weakness.