Self-care has become some new sort of buzz word that often makes people picture things like bubble-baths and mud facemasks, however that is not what self-care really is. Believe it or not, Wikipedia has managed to define self-care. According to Wikipedia, “self-care refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development”. Do you know what self-care really is? It is like putting petrol into a car so it keeps running. Self-care is putting the resources into yourself so that you keep running at an optimum.
To properly care for yourself you need to understand who you are and what you need then you need to design a self-care plan around those answers and put it into action. A self-care plan can involve a number of steps or processes. It can cover your physical needs – are you getting enough exercise? It can cover your psychological needs – do you have the support you need to cope with the demands of your life or do you need to seek extra support? It can also include your emotional needs – are you getting the love you need from those closests? And finally, your spiritual needs – how is your relationship with God?
When thinking about self-care, start with the fundamentals. What do I mean by that? Ensure first that your most basic human needs are met. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, food and exercise. I looked at the self-care page of Headspace recently. Headspace is essentially a mental-health support centre for young people. It has ten basic steps for self-care and I want to share these with you. I realise that we are not teenagers (well some of us maybe in our heads) however these steps are worth reviewing because they go after the fundamentals of self care.
1 – Headspace’s first tip is to regularly engage in an activity that you find relaxing: “Put aside a little time every day to do something that you really enjoy, such as going for a walk, gardening, listening to music or reading. Schedule it into your daily routine so that it becomes a natural part of your life.” What do you do everyday that is relaxing? A bubble bath? A walk, perhaps just reading a good book?
2 – The second tip from Headspace is to practice regular relaxation: “Try to squeeze in some yoga or meditation before starting your day. It can be helpful to visualise a safe, peaceful space e.g. a comforting room, a beautiful beach or lovely bush setting, and spend 5-10 minutes imagining this in your mind.” For those of us who have faith, it is great to include prayer in your day. I love Martin Luther who once famously said, “I have so much to do today that I will have to spend the first three hours in prayer”. Getting your head right sets you up for the rest of the day.
3 – Tip three from Headspace: “Maintain your friendships. Connect regularly with friends and family and undertake activities you enjoy together.” People are herd animals. It is our relationships with others that sustain and maintain us, without these we falter.
4 – Headspace’s fourth tip is: don’t be afraid to ask for help “If you are experiencing stress or worry it can help to talk to someone about it. You may like to speak to a friend, family member, your GP or a counsellor. Ask for help when you need it and accept help when it is offered – realise that you cannot do everything.” This maybe advice for teenagers, but how many of us adults have never learned this lesson? We think being an adult means always being independent, never needing support. The truth is that the biggest strongest people recognise that sometimes we all need to feel small and be loved and supported by others.
5 – Get regular exercise, is fourth on this list: “This will help to reduce stress levels and improve your health. Try to find an activity you enjoy. Exercising with others can help you to stay motivated. Aim for at least 20 minutes a day; even a 10-minute walk will benefit you.” Exercise is a life habit that few of us have established. The truth is that it’s hard to have a healthy mind and spirit if you neglect your body. We only have one body – you can’t trade it in. Love and respect your beautiful body and give it what it needs.
6 – Eat a nutritious, balanced diet. Headspace tells us: “This can help with energy levels and stress management. Avoid consuming too much caffeine or sugar. It may help you to feel more energised in the short term, but can have negative effects in the long term.” I strongly recommend a low-sugar diet to run to maximum efficiency.
7 – Be kind to yourself is golden rule number seven: “A positive and compassionate attitude can help you manage difficult times. Encouraging and rewarding yourself for getting through a difficult period or achieving a goal, however small, will reinforce your self-confidence.” It makes no sense to be self-critical. That will only lead to depression. Love yourself. Sometimes we find it easier to be compassionate to other people and then we beat ourselves up. Try to treat yourself like an old friend, give yourself a big measure of love and compassion.
8 – Headspace also tells young people to “take some quiet time out for yourself, away from your usual demands, even if this is only for 15 minutes a day. For example, going for a walk, having a bath, having a cuppa or reading the newspaper”. Do you take some quiet time for yourself every day? Taking time out can make a big difference to staying on top of anxiety and stress.
9 – Plan something to look forward to, a holiday, day trip or an outing with friends is tip number nine for our young friends, but wouldn’t we all feel better if we planned to do something joyous with those dearest to us? How about a girls’ or guys’ weekend away or at the very least a night out? And when was the last night you had a romantic weekend away with your other half?
10 – Get good quality sleep is the final point: “Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Switch off all electronics at least an hour before going to bed so that you can wind down. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, try a relaxation technique or quiet activity until you feel sleepy again.” Too many of us adults are burning the candle at both ends. Sleep is not just important to young people but us adults also, especially if we want to maintain our physical fitness as we age.
These ten tips are presented by a youth mental health network, but they are lessons few adults have learned. They are ten great rules, and if you don’t have a self-care plan, I suggest printing them out as a starter and then building on them and slowly including other support structures you need to function at your best!
ABOUT PAT MESITI
Pat Mesiti is a best-selling author, coach and educator in the area of personal development. Having built some of Australia’s largest people-driven organisations, Pat understands the power of harnessing human potential. He has shared the stage with some of the world’s great business minds and has sold over millions of copies of his books and materials.