What Do People Regret Most?

Do you know that old French song, “Je ne regrette rien” by Edith Piaf? Here are the lyrics in English:

No, nothing of nothing
No! I don't feel sorry about anything
Not the good things people have done to me
Not the bad things, it's all the same to me.
No, nothing of nothing
No! I don't feel sorry about anything
It's paid for, removed, forgotten,
I'm happy with the past.
With my memories
I lit up the fire.
My troubles, my pleasures
I don't need them anymore.
(I’ve) Swept away my love stories
And all their tremble –
Swept away for always.
I start again from zero.
Because my life, my joys
Today, they begin with you.

The truth is that I know very few people who have no regrets. Part of being human is acknowledging we have made mistakes, but that does not mean we live with perpetual guilt and sadness. I am all for forgiving and accepting yourself. I believe in forgiving other people and letting go of the past. I think holding on to grievances and hurts from yesterday stops us from being the best we can be today. However there are still mistakes that loom large in our life – key regrets.

Recently I stumbled across a list of the top 35 regrets from people who use Reddit social media. Reddit is an online network of communities based on people’s interests – there is everything from fishing, to stamp collecting and creative writing on this website. There are more than 300 million Reddit users worldwide, so it was interesting to read the main-life regrets emailed in the Reddit users. I think it would be useful to read them, basically so you can avoid making these mistakes!

Reedit users’ top 35 regrets:

1. Take the leave your company owes you, especially sick leave when you are sick. And take your holiday leave and spend time with those you love. You may think you are invaluable to your company, but in the end you may find yourself mistreated at work and forgotten as soon as you are gone.
2. Pay attention to your key relationship. You may have some serious issues and perhaps won’t notice how unhappy the other person is until it’s too late.
3. Watch how your partner treats other people because inevitably one day they will treat you that way.
4. Don’t waste time being critical of other people’s interests or tastes. Even if at first these interests don’t appeal to you, be open and always take the opportunity to learn new things.
5. Avoid staying in jobs that bore you or make you unhappy. Take the initiative and find a new job!
6. Take risks when you can. If you have financial and family responsibilities, consider these before taking risks. Calculated risks are fun and empowering.
7. Back up ALL your photos, videos and files, or one day you will lose them. Cloud storage is cheap but also use a hard drive.
8. Don’t date someone because you are lonely. Date someone because you see a future with them.
9. Forgive people for minor mistakes. Don’t hold grudges and lose friends.
10. Never eat out of boredom. Also avoid sugary drinks and think seriously about your level of alcohol consumption.
11. Break up with anyone who hurts you physically.
12. Never lie to your life partner. They’re supposed to be your best friend. If you lie, trust will break down and the relationship will start to falter.
13. Don’t self-harm in any way, including taking drugs and drinking too much. If you are in a bad place reach out for help.
14. Marriage and children are not for everyone. Some people love it, others don’t. Do not feel pressured to marry or have children if it is not for you, but you need to honestly tell you partner about your feelings and intentions.
15. Think seriously about staying in a relationship if your partner cheats on you.
16. If you are studying, work hard and do not squander the opportunity. The older you get the more you realise education is a gift.
17. Love is a two way street. Are you giving enough in the relationship? What about your partner?
18. Think very carefully about whether you are with the right person before marrying. How well do you really know them? How well do you know their family?
19. Don’t give loyalty when it isn’t deserved, that applies to people, brands, companies.
20. Don’t spend too much time focussing on what other people think of you. Be a good person and have good intentions. The truth is that not everyone will like you.
21. Don’t spend time with people who don’t have your best interests at heart. Avoid people who try to manipulate you or who are overly critical.
22. Learn to communicate effectively. You’ll lose people from your life if you can’t communicate openly with them.
23. Credit cards are not free money. Pay off your card every month to avoid paying interest.
24. Be grateful daily for everything you have.
25. If you work for a family-owned business, never forget you are an employee not one of the family. You are not indispensable, so be honourable but do not allow yourself to be exploited.
26. Take good care of your teeth and brush and floss daily. If you don’t, you will find yourself in big trouble before you know it. Also good teeth make it easier for your to find a life partner!
27. If your grandparents, aunts, uncles and parents are still alive, spend some time with them, phone them and regularly check on their welfare. If you don’t the day will come when you really regret it.
28. If a group of people at work or socially, always make fun of you in a ‘joking’ way, avoid them. If everyone in the group gets their share, it’s alright but if you’re the butt of every joke then it’s not friendship. You’re a lightning conductor for their insecurities. This is not good for you. Find new friends.
29. If you are pregnant and think something is wrong, make the medical professional listen to you. Trust your instincts. Things go wrong in pregnancies when doctors refuse to listen.
30. Read your insurance policies. Know what is covered and if you have enough coverage.
31. Even if you find work or study comes easy to you, put in 110 per cent. You will inevitably get more out of your education if you truly commit.
32. Do not take up bad habits like smoking or vaping, because they hurt your health and are mighty hard to quit.
33. Don’t avoid responsibility because your priority is having fun and you think you still have enough time to get your life together. If you do this you will suddenly find that you are over 50, locked out of the property market and your career is going nowhere.
34. When looking for a job or business, focus on what you are good at, not what sounds interesting or what is fashionable. You know what they say, find a job you like and you will never do a day’s work.
35. Follow your intuition. We have instincts for a reason. One day they may just save your life.

I loved this list of regrets from Reddit. I noticed that people focus mostly not on whether they have accumulated material possessions or wealth, but on their relationships with others and themselves. I want to share a few more life regrets with you. This list was written by Grace Bluerock, who spent six years working in palliative care with people who were dying. These are the key regrets of people who are the end of their lives.

1. I wish I had been more loving to the people who matter most to me
2. I wish I had been a better spouse, parent, son/daughter
3. I wish I had not spent so much time working
4. I wish I had taken more risks
5. I wish I had been happier and enjoyed life more
6. I wish I had been living my own dream
7. I wish I had taken better care of myself
8. I wish I’d done more for others
9. I wish I had chosen work that was more meaningful

All I can say to you, is that you still have time to make a difference in this world – to care for others, to be good to the people who love you, to live a happier life. So what are you waiting for, get out there and do these things!