7 Ways to Raise Your Self-Value

Posted on: July 25th, 2017 in Mindset by Pat Mesiti | 6 Comments

Identify Where You Spend Money

Are you sometimes amazed at what people spend their money on? I was amazed by a recent media report that said Australians spent more than $12 billion on their pets last year. I know that supplying pet products and services is one of the fastest growing small business markets, but I was still shocked to read that as a nation we spent some $12 billion on our pets last year. The federal government only spends $4 billion a year on foreign aid for the world’s poorest countries, but we are choosing to spend three times that amount on companion animals. According to this article, people take their dogs to doggy spas and the average spend on pet grooming is $128. But ultimately, our choices are controlled by what we value and clearly many Australians value their pets.

Identify your Values

What are your values? What is precious to you? Irreplaceable? Do you place those values at the core of every decision or choice? You should, because our choices will determine our destiny, but to make the right choices, we must be sure of our priorities and values.

If someone is unsure of the intrinsic value of an item, he or she will default to looking at price cost. For example, I am prepared to spend money on quality clothes. I am a public speaker and I believe it would be an insult to me and my audience if I showed up looking untidy and wearing horrible clothes. Not everyone likes to invest in good clothes. Some people only shop at discount chain stores – maybe they’ve spent all their money having their dog groomed! Again these decisions come back to what you value.

I think it is essential that people have a sense of their own value or self-worth. We all need to respect and value our health and our intellect. And when it comes to making choices, we need to focus on making the right decisions and not choices based on instant gratification. If you value your health, you shouldn’t smoke or eat junk food. If you value your intellect then don’t indulge in gossip or watch junk TV.

Put Yourself First

However there are times when we all fail to respect our self. Women, particularly mothers, are good at putting themselves last. They eat the smallest portion or the burnt portion, spend little money on their clothes and neglect their other needs. They suffer discomfort and often their families are oblivious to their sacrifices. The end result is they are dissatisfied with their life and grow to resent their family. In the workforce, women earn about 17% less than men. Are women more reluctant to ask for a pay rise than their male colleagues because they don’t value themselves sufficiently? A female friend recently told me that a new mantra for professional women is, “Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre, white man”. That’s cruel, funny and probably helpful to women forging ahead in careers!

Value Yourself

Do you value yourself as an employee, a friend, a family member? Every human is a deeply valuable entity, yet too often we don’t value ourselves or other people. This is not acceptable. When was the last time you made a list noting everything you value about yourself? Are you a true friend, a reliable employee, a kind neighbour, a good parent? Are you creative, fun, independent and clever? Write that list out today and put it up somewhere you will see it. If you want to prosper, you must value yourself and expect goodness to come to you. Remember, you are worthy of spiritual, emotional, physical and financial blessings. If you want to attract prosperity, it is vital that you value yourself.

Take time out of your day for yourself – assess your emotional and physical health. Do not be tempted to focus on the negative – your wrinkles or blemishes. Recognise that you are beautiful and special. If you had a precious Renaissance painting in your house, you wouldn’t focus on the old frame or fading paint, but the master strokes of the artist. You are also a work of art! It is okay to focus on your best qualities even while you are trying to improve your flaws.

I am not encouraging you to become arrogant and believe that you are better than other people. Self-value has a sense of equality because the more we appreciate ourselves, the more we appreciate others. And when we devalue someone else, we devalue ourselves.

Stop the Blame Game

You know that I hate blame. Blaming someone else for your misfortunes is not going to empower you or help you grow – instead it will chip away at your prosperity. If you continue the blame game you will suffer chronic resentment and anger that can lead to substance or alcohol abuse.

But when we are kind and compassionate towards others, even people who have hurt us, we are valuing ourselves even more. Think how good you feel when you’ve been able to help someone in life. If you employ staff, you should always be looking to improve their skills and help them grow. Enrich their lives and enrich your business. The more we value other people, the more our self-value grows.

Help Others

If you are struggling to feel good about yourself, the easiest way to feel valuable is to help someone else. Volunteer to do some work for a charity. If you feel powerless, do something that will make you feel more worthy – help someone who needs a hand. Wash dishes at a soup kitchen, work in a not-for-profit opportunity shop or offer to take some elderly people in a nursing home on an outing.

Respect Yourself

Valuing yourself means respecting yourself. It means behaving in a dignified manner and not making a disgrace or fool of yourself or drinking excessively. Self-value means keeping your promises, being a person of your word. Self-value means letting your core beliefs guide your decision making, not whims or impulses. Self-value means becoming the sort of person you would like to be friends with. I like what Diane Von Furstenberg said about self-respect, “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company!”

ABOUT PAT MESITI

Pat Mesiti is a best-selling author, coach and educator in the area of personal development. Having built some of Australia’s largest people-driven organisations, Pat understands the power of harnessing human potential. He has shared the stage with some of the world’s great business minds and has sold over millions of copies of his books and materials.

 

  1. zosie says:

    Great thanks

  2. Eric says:

    Hi Pat
    I really do enjoy reading your blogs. I wish there were more people in the world that would appreciate their self and find happiness.

  3. Lanny Lanzara says:

    Thank you
    Valuable lesson.

  4. michael norris says:

    that was well worth a watch i had a bad fall yesterday and shook me up a lot, i think i have broken a rib but not sure i am waiting for a doctor to call with a hope that he will be able to say no just bruised ,still hurts but that would put my mind at rest , meanwhile my friend has just phoned to ask how i was so i told her i was sort of ok, but coming out of that she has arranged some one to come a do some work for me, i need to lower some edging panels at front of my garden,its the second time i have tripped over and gone down with a bang ,so that will be sorted out today hooray cant do the same thing 3 times by the way at andrew reynolds event,m you passed me one of you memory sticks ,for which i thankyou ,and i asked what part of australia were you based you said sidney,i told you i lived in the 60’s near devondale ice cream factory on the highway between mt druit and st mary’s.
    regards
    mike norris

    • Pat Mesiti says:

      Hi Mike,

      So sorry to hear about your fall, I hope you get well soon!
      Enjoy the material on the memory stick and let us know how you get on. Take care, Pat

  5. Peta Hewett says:

    Good stuff Pat!

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