How to Find Balance in Your Life

I have a neighbour who originally hails from a sheep farm in western Victoria. He went home recently because it’s spring, and the time of year when his parents shear the sheep. Ahead of shearing his parents need to move a thousand sheep from outlying paddocks to the land around the shearing shed, where the sheep will be shorn over a few days. That means driving flocks of sheep down country roads, and this can take hours. My friend tells me that moving hundreds of sheep is no easy feet and sometimes it’s hard to get the flock to go in the direction you want. He says sometimes a dozen sheep break from the main flock and head off in the wrong direction and then either a sheep dog or a motorbike rider must go off after them and bring them back. It sounds like a real adventure and got me thinking about how difficult it is to get all parts of your life ‘going in the right direction’. Sometimes work is going really well, but your family life can be in a bit of a mess. Other times work and family are good, but your finances are a disaster. Alternatively, family, finances and work are brilliant but a good friend is causing you grief, or you feel that your creative side is neglected, or your health is run down and you are piling on weight.

In many ways it seems that life is like a flock of sheep, all elements of your life (think of them as sheep) appear to be heading in the right direction but a few stranglers break off and go sideways. My friend says sometimes the whole flock will then follow the rebels and get off course. Life is like that – finely balanced, without warning it can all go wrong. No one else can balance our lives for us. It’s up to you but cut yourself some slack and realise that it is challenging to be successful in every aspect of life. I’m sure you know people who are failing in every aspect of their life – money, health, family, marriage, friends, spiritual growth and career development. How many people do you know who have it “all going on”? They are usually in the minority! Okay, so accept that balance and success across the board is a big ask but not impossible.

Do an audit on your life

When it comes to ‘balancing your life’ or getting all your sheep heading in the right direction, the first thing you need to do is take a long-hard look at how things stand. You need to audit your life, preferably on paper. How is your work life? Stagnant or are you challenged and developing new skills? Are you spending too many hours at work? How are your relationships with family members? Open and honest? Or do you treat each other with contempt and disdain? How is your health? Do you exercise regularly or live on junk food and never get off the couch at home? How is your spiritual life? When did you last pray or meditate?

Commit to balance

To get all elements of your life heading in the right direction you must commit to balance. That means making a promise to get to the gym three times a week and keeping it. It means spending time with family and friends and not living at work. It means praying or meditating.

Don’t just have good intentions and see them fall by the wayside after a week. Make a schedule and pin it up! Tell family and friends your plans and ask them to support you. It is too easy to excel in one or two areas (such as work) at the expense of your health or relationships.

But remember, balance is that it’s almost like a state of Nirvana or heaven. The truth is we will struggle to achieve it during this life, but we need to be constantly striving to do well across the board. Balance is an ongoing process never an outcome. Renew your promise to balance your life daily – work hard, love family, eat well and exercise. If you fail, put it behind you, re-commit and keep striving to achieve balance.

Draw up tactics and strategies

Drawing up tactics and strategies basically means setting goals – short and long-term. Having an overarching strategy that involves short-term tactics to reach long-term goals. Set realistic goals for all areas of your life – your relationships, health, spirituality, profession, finances, creative life and spirituality.

Be brave

This is a hard one. Sometimes this means facing up to the fact that one part of your life is not going well and will never be resolved. It may be time to cut your losses and move on. Have you been unhappy in your job for a while, but hoping for improvement? Is it time to face the music and accept that the situation will never change? You need to get a new job. Is there a friendship in your life which is destructive and draining? Is it time to end that relationship? Be willing to look carefully at your life and be prepared to make changes that will in the long-run improve your life.

Prioritise

I’ve even heard of children and teenagers who are struggling to find balance and peace in life. I know a 16 year old who excels academically, plays in a sport team, has a part time job, studies music and plays in a band. His mum says that most days he doesn’t know if he is coming or going and frequently complains that he is stressed, yet he refuses to give up anything.

If you cannot find balance in your life, and your health and relationships are suffering then you need to have a long-hard look at what is really important. What matters most to you? That is where you need to focus your energy. That is the area of your life you must get right. Jackie Kennedy identified her children as most important part of her life, and famously said that it didn’t matter what else she had achieved in life, if she failed her children then she had failed.

Many people also testify that if you get the basics right – love of other people – then the other stuff (work, health, creativity) have a better chance of coming together. Maybe if my friend got the biggest strongest sheep heading in the right direction first then the rest of the flock would follow.