How To Be Happy When You’re Middle Aged

In my last blog I looked at research that found people’s level of happiness declines when they hit their 40s and 50s. Studies in England and America show that people experience their unhappiest or least satisfied years when middle aged. The good news is that our happiness rebounds when we hit 60. In fact the happiest years of our lives are generally from 65 to 69. Today I want look specifically at how to increase your happiness when in your 40s and 50s.

The experts can’t agree on why people’s happiness starts declining from about the age of 35 and doesn’t get back to the pre-35 level until we are about 60 years old. Some psychologists say it is a combination of work stresses, the demands of raising children, caring for aged parents and also experiencing your own body age. Also many middle-aged people in our generation have been made redundant and are now trying to find their feet and run their own startup businesses. Remember I own a business and perfectly understand this challenge, however operating your own business can keep you young, hungry and dynamic. You are forced to become creative and innovative unlike our parents, who (at our age) were home smoking pipes and making tea in their slippers. I promise there are advantages to being middle aged today however you do need to actively fight this dip in happiness that hits in your 40s and 50s.

How to be happy when you’re middle aged

1. Remember you are smarter than ever before

Researchers from the University of Southern California have found that young people use only one side of their brain for tasks, while middle-aged people tend to activate both hemispheres at once. We have finally learnt how to use the full might of our brains to solve problems.

2. It’s never too late to get in shape

As we age we tend to gain weight, but with diet and exercise you can buck this trend. A study, published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, found that people who stayed fit were seven times more likely to remain healthy in old age, even if they only took up exercise after they retired! Another study found that men aged between their mid-20s and mid-50s lost only five percent of their fitness if they exercised moderately but consistently every week. So you may be middle-aged but your health doesn’t have to suffer.

3. You’re not addicted to your screen

Maybe I am showing my age, but I tend to think these young people who spend most of the day looking at a screen are actually missing out on life. They are not watching the birds in the trees or the butterflies drink nectar from flowers. Screen-addiction is unhealthy. Even the high-tech geniuses Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg imposed strict limits on how much technology their children used at home. Recently Mark Zuckerberg posted an open letter to his newborn child, urging her to make time to go outside and play: “You will be busy when you’re older, so I hope you take time to smell all the flowers and put all the leaves you want in your bucket now.”

4. You are becoming immune to peer pressure

In explaining why middle-aged people experience a dip in their happiness, psychologist and researcher, Paul Doolan put it this way: “When you’re young you have all this false optimism about life; when you are in midlife most people haven’t achieved what they would like to, and then by the time you’re in your late 50s you start to get over yourself and start doing things you like, caring less about social comparisons.” The sooner you can stop comparing yourself to other people the better. Accept who you are and what you have. Everyone’s life is unique, everyone’s life is special. Maybe you haven’t made a billion dollars, but if you are loved by friends and family, and you’ve put a solid and sincere effort into your job or business, then you are a success! Forget about what other people have or what other people are doing. Accept yourself and be yourself.

5. You are wise

One of the joys of being middle-aged is that you have a lot of knowledge and life experience. You no longer accept everything people on TV tell you. In fact, I’m often amazed by how much I know. Try watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire on television. You will be amazed by the questions the 20-somethings can’t answer!

6. We know how important it is to invest in your physical and mental health

I recently wrote a blog reporting on new research that has found you need to start challenging your brain when middle-aged if you want to ward off dementia. It is also vital to keep stimulating yourself socially. Take up a new hobby. Run your first 5km in your 50s. Enrol in a dance class. Aim to make new friends but also stay in contact with your old friends and your family (that includes extended family and adult children).

7. Remember that you still have it

Just because you are middle-aged, doesn’t mean you lose your sex appeal. Is George Clooney sexy? Is Catherine Deneuve still gorgeous? They are both well over 50. Vogel, a US health food company, did a study on women’s self-esteem and found it suffers as they enter their 50s. 75 percent of women felt ignored by men when they walked into a crowded room. 50 percent felt as if they’d been “left on a shelf” and were judged negatively because of their age. 60 percent felt that society was geared toward younger women. 50 percent wished there was more focus on the plight of older women. Only 15 percent of the women surveyed reported feeling confident in themselves. When asked what contributed to their lack of confidence, most of the women cited things like greying hair, having to wear reading glasses, and a lack of appropriate fashion. At the end of the day, sex appeal is all about your attitude to yourself. If you believe you are attractive and you take good care of yourself then trust me, the opposite sex will find you appealing. Sex appeal is not defined by age. It is just another aspect of your life you need to take control of. Look at it this way, after you turn 40 you can still look drop-dead gorgeous or you can just look like you are about to drop dead. The choice is yours. Get that gym membership and use it. Wear clothes that show off your assets and be confident. Nothing is as attractive as confidence.

Celebrate every birthday in a big way

If you are still alive then damn well celebrate every birthday. Too many of my friends and loved ones are no longer here. Go big or go home on your birthday! How about taking a ride in a helicopter on your 40^th, or going skydiving on your 50^th? I give you permission to become more adventurous as you age. Look at it this way, the older you are the less (in terms of years) you have to lose.

Now is the time to cut loose and enjoy your age. Refuse to fall into that midlife unhappiness dip.