How Men And Women Behave On Dating Websites

I love it – a new study of dating sites found that about 75 percent of all smiley photos uploaded to these romance sites, are uploaded by women! Why is it that women are happy to look … well … happy, while men want to appear more serious. The same study of hundreds of dating sites (by Date Scout) also found that the majority of photos of cars and boats on sites were posted by men. Reading about this study really got me wondering whether there are key differences in the way men and women approach dating sites. So, guess what, I got online and did some serious research!

Men are more aggressive on dating sites than women

I discovered that numerous universities have carried out research into online dating. Studies by Binghamton University, Northeastern University, and the University of Massachusetts Lowell all concluded that men are much more proactive online than women. They are prepared to send out multiple messages to many different potential partners. Women, by comparison, are more cautious about who they approach. Overall men behaved more aggressively than women, and women were much more selective than men.

Men frequently send out poor messages

Yet another study looked at the type of messages men send out to potential suitors. The Chinese dating website, Baihe, analysed the messages of thousands of people and found men focused on their own interests rather than trying to make a meaningful connection with a new suitor. Most men don’t try to understand the woman’s interests and hobbies and just speak about themselves – their careers and aspirations.

According to the Baihe study, men are also oblivious to how good or bad looking they are. Unattractive men had no misgivings about contacting very attractive women, who were already swamped with offers from other men! By comparison, women are very aware of their looks. They gauge their own level of attractiveness and do not message men they perceive to be more physically attractive than themselves. Overall women are more successful in identifying potential partners, and their messages lead to more successful results than the men’s feeble actions! “For females, they’re self-conscious because they tend to evaluate the likelihood of getting a response,” study co-author Shuangfei Zhai said. “In terms of the data, it shows that women have a much stronger chance of getting responses from users they send messages to than men.”

Enhanced photos are a turnoff to men

Yet another study by the University of Connecticut found that men and women respond differently to enhanced photos on websites. By enhanced photos I mean photos where the subject uses make-up, hairstyling, lense filters and even Photoshop. Both men and women found the subjects of these photos more attractive, but men gave women in enhanced photos a low score for trustworthiness. They believe women who dramatically alter their looks are also capable of lying. Women believe men in enhanced photos have just gone to the trouble of looking nice! I guess in online dating photos people should aim to look good, but also be authentic. Yet another study of online dating by Georgetown University concluded that any form of perceived exaggeration or lying on a dating website was a major turnoff.

Looks matter more to men than women

A study by Humboldt University in Berlin found that male online daters put more emphasis on physical appearance of a potential mate than female daters. Men seek health, ‘good genes’, physical attractiveness, youth and other ‘female’ qualities when looking for a new partner online. Female daters base their choices on male breadwinning abilities and give preference to socio-economic characteristics (income, occupation and education) over physical attractiveness.

Men post more information than women

The study by Humboldt University also found men disclose personal information more readily than women. However women online daters lead in creativity and variety of information provided. I once read about a woman who received more than 500 matches from men in one hour after posing as a carton of eggs on her Tinder dating profile. Alita Brydon, from Melbourne, superimposed her face over eight eggs in a carton. She received more than 500 Tinder matches from men in one hour, but Tinder wasn’t happy with her and shut down her account!

The Humboldt University study also found that both males and females misrepresent some of their information when creating their profiles however male users are more likely to falsify their relationship status and goals. That means there are more married men on dating websites than married women!

Neither men nor women know what they want in a partner

People on online dating sites think they know what they want in a partner, but studies on romantic attraction consistently find that most of us actually have no idea! Academics from Northeastern University did a study on speed-daters. They recorded the traits that people said they wanted in a partner and then introduced them to individuals with those traits. Guess what – there was no interest. Next the researchers introduced these people to individuals who were very unlike their described ideal partners and guess what? – they wanted to see these unsuitable people again!

In another study, researchers from A&W Texas University asked people to describe their ideal partner and then partnered them with an ideal and a non-ideal person. Again more people wanted to see the non-ideal than the ideal partner. On the whole, it seems people do not know what they want in a partner. I guess that explains why the psychologists on the TV shows Married at First Sight have not yet made one successful lasting match. They are giving people what they think they want and hey – they don’t actually want it!

Most people using online dating sites are young

Finally the Date Scout study found that around 85 percent of people on dating sites are aged under 35 years. That is because more people under 35 are single than people over 35. Also many older people are not computer savvy. I better tell my old aunty that is she wants a hot date with a gorgeous guy she better get the laptop I bought her for Christmas out of its box and get online!